F1: Kimi smiles at last

The rules are simple: an engine has to last two entire race meetings. If a driver gets a new engine, he drops ten places on the grid.

And except in very limited circumstances, once a car has completed qualifying, the mechanics are not permitted to touch it until its first pit stop during the race.

Another simple rule: qualifying takes place with each car taking a single "flying lap" and going out in reverse order of the finishing order of the previous race. So first out or last in the race, first to do a qualifying run at the next meeting; first in the race, last to do the qualifying run.

And one more rule to know about: if a driver leaves the track (that's the black bit) and on returning gains an advantage by so doing, he is subject to penalty. Therefore if such an incident happens, and the driver gained a place, he should immediately surrender the place so as to avoid penalty.

Generally it all works quite well: at the beginning of the session the cars that were slowest in the last race are penalised because the racing line may have become dusty, it might have rained overnight and so the track will be "green" (that is doesn't have a layer of tyre rubber on the racing line which increased grip) and if the track is a little damp, the heat of the early cars will dry the racing line. So the system works as an inverse handicapping system - designed to reward drivers who do well in a race with a slighly improved chance of doing well in qualifying in the next race.

But sometimes it goes hopelessly wrong. In the Suzuka qualifying, David Coulthard, shunted out of the previous race within seconds of the start, was first to go out onto the damp track on Saturday morning: and he remained on provisional pole for most of the session. McLaren's weather forecasters told them that the track would dry in the middle of the session - and then there would be a major dumping of rain 45 minutes into the qualifying session. That, they figured, would be just in time to catch Alonso, Montoya and Raikkonen

Their weather predictions were uncannily accurate and the three fastest men in Brazil struggled to get their cars around the circuit at all. McLaren and eveyone else expected a totally dry and warm track for Sunday's race and, because changing the set up between qualifying and the race is not permitted, all three cars were set up for optimum performance in the warm and dry.

So the three fastest men in Brazil were right at the back of the grid to start the race. Not that Raikkonen expected much else - he'd had an engine change and so anywhere lower than 12th (a near inevitable prospect once it started to rain hard) meant he'd be dead last on the grid anyway.

As it was, Montoya started last: he elected to fail to set a time, which meant that he could go into the pits and the work that could be done on his car was less restricted than if he had actually completed his timed lap.

It made no difference to Montoya: for the third time in five races (he has won the other two) poor driving by someone else put him out of the race. This time he didn't even make it around for a full lap, crunching his car against a barrier opposite the pit entrance and stripping the left rear wheel off in the process. Fuming, Montoya sat in his car for a few seconds, then having calmed down he climbed out, jogged across the track - and for the remainder of the race remained as transfixed as everyone else.

The first lap had been carnage and the Safety Car came out and bunched everyone up behind Ralf Schmacher who had been fuelled very light a) to get a chance of Toyota's first pole (except for the farcical US GP earlier this year) and to do it in Japan and b) to let him hare off with the rest of the pack fighting for second place.

The plan worked for a whole lap. Button's Honda had faltered on the grid losing him second place and he had been swallowed up by a raging mass of cars. The Honda didn't pick up again when the pace car went in, leaving Button in the middle of another squabble.

But soon the front four had sorted themselves out and become less likely to be the source of much excitement for a while. Which was kind of lucky because there was enough happening further down the field to keep even those who don't get motor-racing on the edge of their seats. As one wag put it at a particularly exciting moment "remind me what's interesting about soccer."

For lap after lap Alonso dogged Michael Schumacher eventually pulling of an audacious, strike that, impossible move around the outside of the famous 130R leaving him to sprint off at about a second a lap faster than MS, leaving Raikkonen with the problem of how to get around the erstwhile World Champion. MS gave no chance to pass and for several laps the Finn sat under the wing of the Ferrari. Suddenly both pit crews jumped up as one, both rushed out just as their drivers reached the pit-lane entrance, neither wanting the other to know what the plan was. Both cars came down the pit lane. Ferrari are always a tenth faster than anyone else in a pitstop and McLaren knew that only by short filling their car would they beat MS back onto the track. They decided not to try and instead gave a half-second advantage to the German by adding more fuel, knowing that it would be only a couple of laps before they were back on his tail.

More dicing followed, with the field closing up, Raikkonen eventually passing MS and heading away into the distance like the Ferrari was dead meat. Then there was no stopping Kimi. He sprang through the field and, by clever pit stop strategy and brilliant driving ended up at the pointy end of the field at the only moment that mattered - the one where the chequered flag dropped.

Alonso on the other hand, felt that he should have won: this was not a petulent child crying because he'd been denied his trophy ( he was second) but as a result of a bizarre decision. Early in the race, Alonso had hunted down Klien and got the jump on him at the chicane but overcooked the entry and went straight on, coming out ahead of Klien. Because of the "no advantage from leaving the track rule," Alonso immediately pulled over and let Klien back in front. Two corners later, Alonso's superior car and talent put Klien behind again. Three laps later, Alonso was seven seconds ahead of Klien - when he got a radio call that the stewards had decided he had gained an advantage and demanded that he let Klien pass.

It's really hard to lose seven seconds - and much more difficult still to try to get it back. Alonso cruised for almost a full lap waiting for Klien. Then after letting him past, had to do it all again. And that "again" included another battle to pass MS who had gone by whilst Alonso was waiting around for Klien. .

That time lost was crucial at the end of the race in which the first eleven cars were all within a minute of the leader. Montoya's "off" was caused - or at least aggravated to the point of no return - by Villeneuve who had been doing rather better of late but his actions cost him a 25 second penalty: that pushed him down to 12th - a pointless penalty that only cost him one place and that was already outside the points. JV did get off lightly, perhaps. Sato, already the cause of much controversy in Japan (he's been dropped by BAR-Honda which becomes just HONDA next year and people have been cancelling car orders in protest, say local media) fell off on the first lap (wrongly being blamed by some commentators for taking of Rubino who actually not only fell off all on his own but swiped Sato's nose whilst doing it) but then made a frankly stupid lunge up the inside of Trulli, t-boning the Toyota. Sato kept running but was "excluded from the results" following a stewards' inquiry. That would have been a very hard decision to make in Japan.

Alonso took pleasure in another aspect of the race, though, joshing with reporters who have murmered that he's a good racer when he's got an empty track. "I've done maybe three or four overtaking moves all season and I am champion. Today I've done, I think, 14." That included the breathtaking move around MS on 130R and another with two wheels on the grass and the others in the pit exit lane to dive inside Mark Webber. If anyone doubted Alonso's talent, this race would make them eat their hat.

Similarly Raikkonen: there is no doubt that his car has often been the fastest during the season but, as the old adage goes "to finish first, first you have to finish" and his car has been strangely unreliable all year with half a dozen engine changes.

In Brazil, Montoya stuck his car on pole despite being a very early runner in qualifying. He's be out first in China next week. Alonso and Raikkonen will have the benefit of a swept and rubbered-in track, so long as the weather conditions remain constant through the hour-long session. Having seen them come from the back of the grid to first and second including both having a long battle with Schumacher Snr, it's almost tempting to wish for rain in the last ten minutes of next week's qualifying, too.